I am currently in the process of setting up my own website.  I have felt for a while that I need to do more writing and I have wrestled with what that is going to look like.  I'm not sure what it means to my Xanga account.  I've been on Xanga for 6 years...but I'm wondering if it is time to leave this blog behind.  I'll let you know.  I just know that I'm feeling like it is time for me to step out more and integrate my writing more into my ministry.  I'll keep you all posted.

There is so much that I didn't know when I was younger!

When my parents made mistakes in raising my brother and me, I didn't know they were doing the best they knew how to do...

When I found my dad's stash of "adult" magazines, I didn't know the affect it would have on me for many years...

When classmates put me down, I didn't know they were making up for their own feelings of inadequacy...

When I wasn't part of the "cool crowd" in high school, I didn't know that the playing field would be more level when we got older...

When I used to get depressed in high school because I didn't have a girlfriend and felt no one loved me, I didn't know that one day I would be a husband and father...

When I blew off classes in college to go to the beach and let my grades fall, I didn't know it would affect my marketability for a job...

When I thought I was a cool Californian, I didn't realize how much I would love living outside of California...

When I asked God to be a part of my life, I didn't know He would change my whole life...

When I got married, I didn't know it would actually be as much work as it has been...

When I asked friends to be a part of my wedding party, I didn't know that our lives would take us in such different directions that they really wouldn't be much of a part of my life years later...

When I wanted to leave Los Angeles and move to a quieter and slower pace of life in Kansas, I didn't know that the Midwest mentality would kill me...

When I tried to make my firstborn obey me, I didn't know that I could actually crush his spirit by being so forceful...

When my 2nd born refused to eat "normal" foods, I didn't know that I couldn't make her eat by trying to shove the food in her mouth...

When I got frustrated with day-to-day ministry and felt "called" to plant a new church, I didn't realize that I would fail so miserably because I'm just not wired to do that...

When I moved my family 3 times in 8 years in order to pursue "my dream", I didn't know that it would affect us so much...

When I have shut down emotionally and withdrawn from people, I didn't realize how much it affected the people around me...

When I have failed, I didn't realize how God would turn my failures around...

When I quit ministry, I didn't realize that I can't run from my calling...

When I was young, I didn't know that one day I would be older and would look back and realize how ignorant I was...

I just didn't know.

I'm turning 43 in 3 months.  I don't like getting older.  There are many reasons that I wish that I was younger again.  But experience is not one of those reasons.  When it comes to wisdom and experience, I'm glad that I'm older.  I know so much more now than I did...even yesterday! 

I've made many mistakes in life and I'm glad that I can move forward in this 2nd half of my life with a little more wisdom than I had before...